How do you know when it’s time to have “that conversation” with your loved ones? How do you find the right moment to say unspoken words born of worry or frustration, confusion or loneliness? I have wondered this aloud to my friends, my coworkers and my own family, and have come to the conclusion that there may never be a right time. As is the the nature of our lives and loves, Now is the time. Later, in my experience, is often too little too late.
I spend much of my days caring for my father, a proud and independent man who has lived through the Depression, a world war and several more to follow. He is a scientist, an inventor, a chemist, humanitarian, patriot, traveler and nature photographer. Today I watched in silence as he struggled and failed to understand a simple task that most children learn before grade school. We are lucky. We are blessed to have each other. But we are also blessed to be able to accept help from others when we need it.
I worry. If I am awake – I am worried. I wonder if I have guessed right in my decisions on his behalf. My Dad never expected this day to come. It never occurred to us to have “that conversation.” I have never been one to plan too far into the future. I take after my Dad in some ways.
But today – I started thinking about the future, my future. There is a conversation I need to have with my family and friends. I need to tell them what my wishes are, who I am, what I need, where I want to live if I can’t take care of myself anymore – and how they can help me if I need it. I should write it all down and make sure it is somewhere easy to find. I should make some plans. If I can find the words for myself, I can find the words to have that conversation with others.
If you find yourself in the position of watching someone you care for in need of help, but not quite ready to make a move for themselves. It wouldn’t hurt to come up with your own strategy and list of resources for them, so there is something of a safety net when that day comes.
Those of us who work to offer assistance at Search Senior Living would love to hear from you with any questions you may have.

